Keeley’s Repertoire of Thoughts

Today as I was taking out my dark load of laundry, I noticed all of the items had little white fuzz balls on them. I couldn’t figure it out because I so carefully separate my laundry to make sure I don’t ruin my clothes. Then I spotted the culprit…one white sock! How in the world did that thing get into this load? My only guess is that it so secretly stuck to a pair of pants and ended up in the washing machine with the rest of the bunch leaving everything covered. The clothes still looked dirty to me (because I am obsessive compulsive). Therefore, I sat there for a very long time hand-picking each fuzz ball off until everything was perfect and back to normal.

You see the people around you can either be like you and keep you clean or they can secretly sneak in and ruin you. Those you surround yourself with will determine your outcome. If you choose to allow the “crazies” in your life to dominate your time, you will soon look and act like them as well. So be selective who you spend time with. Please don’t mistake me—I’m not saying you shouldn’t love people and care about them. I’m simply saying if someone brings you down and doesn’t make you a better person, then simply stop spending so much time with them.

So this story makes me giggle a little every time I think about it. As previously stated, I have had issues with bugs in my classroom since day one this year (ants, wasps, roaches, and various unidentified bugs). Now part of this issue is somewhat my own fault. I keep the window open at all times, which I’m not supposed to do. However, my classroom is so frigid that the only reprieve is to open the window and allow warm air to fill the room. The only problem is that the window does not have a screen; therefore, bugs come and go as they please. Thus sets the following plot line…

The students are diligently working on a journal assignment. I’m sitting at my desk taking attendance. All of a sudden I hear a buzzing noise and see something out of the corner of my eye. At this point I make a high-pitched squeal of which my students now know that I’m freaking out about some ungodly creature. As I look closely (because it was literally 5 inches from my face), I noticed it was a ginormous bumble bee! This thing was so big that a student actually thought it was a bird. I guess my high-pitched squeal scared it away because it soon began to swarm. Oh by the way, I have 2 students in that class that are highly allergic to bee stings…of course! The bumble bee begins to freak out from all of the shouts and dodging. It tries to escape but gets stuck between the opening and closing of the window—between the upper and lower part of the window. The kids are yelling “Please kill it Ms. Stephens!” And being the hero that I am, I determinedly and courageously slammed the window shut, which simultaneously killed the bumble. Death by means of crushing between two windows. Yes, I did it! I finally killed a bug for once in my life. All was well now…so I thought. The kids are so disheartened by the fact that I killed an “innocent bee”. Meanwhile, all of them were ready for me to slice the thing to pieces when their skin was in target range. So I try to gain composure and get my class back on track. A few minutes pass, and out of nowhere I hear “Ewww!” I immediately look in the direction the kids are staring. And there it was…bee guts and juices dripping all down the outside of the window. My only thought was “that will never get cleaned off unless there is a sideways rain.” Oh well—it adds character to the classroom. Now we have a huge bumble bee lodged in the window along with his bee juice dried in a stream of a reminder that I can’t control everything!

Sometimes you just need to get away. Sometimes it does a body good to rest and relax. Sometimes it’s good to be away from the same old scene and the same old people. Getting away brings new insight, new revelation, and a newness of spirit. This past weekend I did just that…got away! My friend and I spent the weekend in Myrtle Beach. We stayed at a beautiful resort of which we’d never be able to stay during the summer seasons. This place was incredible—it even had a bowling alley and non-stop live band. Too fun! For those of you who actually care, I’ll give you the run-down of our weekend…

Friday- Shopped like crazy and like we aren’t teachers with no money! I’ve discovered the beauty of shopping at high-priced stores—I wear a smaller size! Then went to a place called Drunken Jacks (no I didn’t drink so don’t judge). The food was delicious! I got coconut battered shrimp which is my favorite.

Saturday- Hit the beach at 9:30 am and stayed till 4:30. Such a relaxing day. Then took 2 hours to get ready just because we could. No man to hurry us up. Went to an Americanized Mexican restaurant. Asked the waiter if we could change the TV channel to the Carolina game. He said they are not allowed to play Carolina games. Dang Clemson fans! Got back to the hotel and went to karaoke. Didn’t sing but watched drunkies get their groove on. So embarrassing—not that they will remember. Sat on the balcony in our room till 4:00am. Did I mention we had ocean view and it was a full moon? Gorgeous!

Sunday- Slept in till 10:30 (which I’ve only done like one other time in my life). Went to Starbucks. Bought a new coffee mug. Too cute! Drove home. Unpacked the car. Dad couldn’t believe how much my friend and I look alike. I gotta tell you…it’s weird! She has a twin but I look like I could be her twin more than her twin does. People freak out about it—even our students get us confused. Played with the puppy who gained another 10 pounds in the three days I was gone. Did Laundry. Took a 2 hour nap. Couldn’t sleep the rest of the night because of that mistake. Could’ve been that reality was awaiting me.

Oh I miss the beach and long to be back! Reality here I come.

For those of you who know me well, you know that I couldn’t possibly be more of a dog person. I’ve had a dog since I was “knee high to a duck” as my dad says. For the past four months, I have not had a dog. I can’t even begin to tell you the torture. It made my life seem like something has been missing. Because I am a creature of habit, every day when I got home from work, I would still look at the fence waiting for a dog to pop out from around the corner to greet my arrival. I know—weird!

So I’ve begged, pleaded, and even offered to pay for a dog. And of course I wanted a German shepherd. Did I mention that I’ve never not had a German shepherd? I absolutely believe they are the most beautiful and most intelligent dogs God ever created. My parents concurred and this past weekend we added the new edition.

We drove all the way to Elloree to pick up the new pup. It took 2 seconds to figure out his name…Max. My dad says he’s named after some guy from the Gladiator. All I know is that for some reason it just fits. The previous owners said he weighs 35 pounds. That may have been true Saturday, but I do believe he’s gained about 10 pounds since we brought him home. Oh how they grow up so fast! So I know you are dying to see the little runt or should I say the massive-footed big-eared soon to be monster. So here he is…

In college, the professors would refer to our future classrooms as “the trenches”. I never understood that until I became a teacher and had my own classroom. I’m not sure if I could thoroughly explain that one to you—at least not without writing a book. So I’ve decided to start a series of blogs based on stories from “the trenches”. Some will make you laugh and some will make you cry. Stories like the following make it all worth it. Moments like these bring laughter that gets me through the days of chaos. I hope you enjoy!

I teach a Vocabulary class—yes, all I teach are vocabulary words. I know it sounds boring, but I’m trying desperately to make it as interesting as possible. I’ve created my own curriculum based on majors/careers these students may choose in college. One day in class, I tried to explain the importance of choosing the right major in college. I began to explain to them that I double majored as an Education and English major. The reasoning was that I wanted to keep my options open and thought about becoming a broadcast journalist one day. For those of you who have no clue, that’s a TV news reporter. I’m not trying to insult your intelligence, but as a teacher, I’ve learned to explain EVERYTHING in detail! So after telling this to my students, one of my students (whom I also taught last year so I’m used to what’s about to come) says, “Why didn’t you become a news reporter first instead of a teacher?” And I jokingly responded, “Because the camera adds 20 pounds and I can’t handle that!” His response was then, “News reporters have to hold their own cameras? That must get heavy!” I looked at him with complete astonishment. Was he serious? Why yes, yes he was! There was no need for me to call him out on this because his peers took care of it. Everyone looked at him with a dumbfounded-ness. At this moment he realized whatever he had said must have been stupid so he responded, “Oh never mind, I get it.” With knowledge from having him previously in my class, I knew that he was just playing it off to avoid embarrassment. So later I pulled him aside and explained. He laughed at himself and it was all in good fun! Moments like these stick and I hope they never cease! Trust me…there will be plenty more to come.

For those of you who have been to college, you know that professors are a breed all their own. Most of us that have gone to college—whether we know it or not—have put professors in sub-categories based on what they meant to us. The categories include, but are not limited to, the following: the Favorites, the Eccentrics, the Has Too Much Knowledge, the Should’ve Been Dead Yesterday, and the unforgettable ones called the Made My Life Miserable. I think I had a Made My Life Miserable professor once every semester. That could be because Charleston Southern is so small that you usually have the same professor more than once, especially if they are a professor from your major. One in particular stands out in my head. I won’t say his name in respect to him. However, this man made my life miserable whenever I would take his class. He never gave grades but every single person in the class would always fail their midterm report cards. This was always unexplainable but he would always defend it by saying, “You’ve got a lot of progress to make and will only pass this class with great effort.” As if I wasn’t already putting forth great effort? To a Type-A personality, you might as well just shoot us—it would be easier that way. So I would try and try. Read material over and over. Sit in his office day after day. One time, he actually made me read my paper out loud to him, sentence by sentence, while he critiqued each line. Oh by the way, it was a 10-page paper! I’m telling you—complete misery!

So this past Friday a friend of mine from college called me. She said, “Do you remember Dr. Unnamed?” And I responded, “Are you kidding? Of course I do. He made my life a living Hell (sorry to you uptights—that’s the only appropriate wording to describe)” She then said, “Well he died a few days ago.” Immediate guilt set in. I just talked bad about a dead person. Great! I’m sure God was looking down so proud…not! Come to find out, this professor had lung cancer and had it while he taught us. Also, during the time he taught us, he had one of his lungs completely removed. Then they recently found more cancer on his last lung and tried to remove it. He died soon after. So why am I telling you this? Well, this man made my life miserable every chance he could, but clearly there was more to it than what I could see. Am I excusing his meanness and stupid teaching methods? Absolutely not! But I am saying that you never know what is going on in people’s lives. So the next time someone treats you unfairly or stupidly, just remember that you have no clue what may be going on in their lives. Have some mercy!

So one of my closest friends and I were discussing our long weekend this morning. Mondays are usually our catch up days with each other. We give a play-by-play run down of all that’s happened since the last time we spoke. Not a detail is left out either—right down to what outfit we wore when events happened is included as well. Crazy thing is that we both like knowing those kinds of details too! Well this weekend she had to attend a wedding. Not just any wedding…a wedding that would bring back all kinds of people from her past. A particular ex-boyfriend to be exact. All week prior to her leaving, she had been concerned about how the moment would be when they would re-unite. It did not go as she would have liked. You see, she was in this wedding and the bride was a complete bridezilla that told her how to fix her hair, her make-up, and even what shoes to wear. Seriously?!? As if my friend was not worried enough, now she had someone else doing her hair and make-up. And for girls like us, that is not cool at all and is extremely stressful. So it was time to get her hair done and it turned out completely wrong. She felt unattractive the entire time…even when she saw the ex. Oh by the way, he’s now married and the wife is prego! Like having a bad hair day wasn’t enough. The fact that her hair looked awful when she saw her ex has haunted her all weekend. So when my friend got to work this morning and we were recapping, she told me to convince her to stop being so shallow about the fact that her hair looked awful when she saw her ex. I just looked at her with complete sympathy. I couldn’t tell her to stop being so vain because that’s exactly how I would be. I didn’t know how to convince her to feel differently because I understood her frustration. But finally I looked at her and said, “Can we change this situation at all?” And after discussing the options, we concluded that nothing could be done about this awful dilemma. So I then asked her, “Why worry when there’s nothing you can do about it?” Oh if I’d only follow my own advice! How many times do we worry and fret about things that we have absolutely no control over? What good does this do? The answer is none. So if you’re worrying about something that you can’t do anything about…STOP IT! Accept the bad hair day. Accept that your ex is married and his gorgeous wife has a baby on the way. Accept it and move on. Well, eat some chocolate and then accept it!

I heard a story the other day about a college professor that I could relate to so very much. He was a younger professor just out of college after attaining his many degrees. He felt very inadequate the first year on campus because he had not read any of the reading material required for the classes he was teaching. So each day, he would read the reading assignment that he would be assigning his students the next—staying one step ahead. Then one day after he dismissed the class, a student came up to him and complimented him on his vast knowledge. The student said, “I wish I knew as much as you do, sir.” The young professor said, “Don’t worry, tomorrow you will!”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taught something that I read the night before or the morning of. This fear of “I sure hope I read that correctly and didn’t have an ADD moment while reading because it sure will be embarrassing if I get this wrong in front of 35 students.” But you see, confidence is key! Convince people you know what you’re talking about—even if you don’t—because they’ll usually believe it! So whatever position you have at whatever job you work at, be confident and at least one step ahead…even if it is just literally one step!

I know I’m not a pro at this whole teaching thing quite yet. However, there are a few things I’ve discovered that every teacher should have. So here’s my list:

Every teacher should…
- have an electric stapler (man that thing excites me!).
- be completely rude on the first day. It’s always easier to lighten up rather than getting stricter.
- have a bathroom in his/her room. It’s a long 1 hr 45 min when you have to pee…that’s all you think about!
- have a SmartBoard.
- be paid millions of dollars a year. Think about it…your kid drives you crazy, which means he/she probably drives us crazy along with the other 31 just like him in the class.
- take the first day off! Our principals would kill us however.
- be trained on how to give the “Teacher Eye.” Only a teacher can give it…it’s the look that words cannot express. Unless you’ve experienced it, you will not know what I’m talking about.
- have a podium.
- wear flat shoes. I’m scared to see what my feet will look and feel like in 10 years of standing on concrete for 8 hours straight.
- have a personal assistant. I don’t really need anyone to do my work, but I just need someone to have an adult conversation with periodically throughout the day.
- have a gym membership. Working out at the end of the day rids your body and your mind of the toxins of the day.
- have an endless supply of chocolate in his/her desk drawer…not for the students…but for the moments of insanity when you need an escape to heaven.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. I’m sure there are more. But it’s the end of the first day of school and my brain is fried and my body is shutting down. Feel free to add to the list!

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven.

Great song…even better Bible verse! So true on so many levels. Change for most people is never easy…but very much inevitable. As a little girl—even now sometimes—I hated when the seasons would change. Just when I would get used to wearing shorts and jellies (taking it way back to the 80s) in the summer, my mom would try to convince me it was time to wear pants, socks, and shoes again. I hated it so much that I would wear socks with the jellies in order to compromise but not fully give in to the obvious change of season that I had no control over. However, as I eased into the change, it wasn’t so bad and even ended up being in my best interest that I start wearing more clothes and actual shoes. Had I not started wearing more clothes and shoes, I probably would have become sick. So the change ended up being just what I needed even though I didn’t understand it or desire it.

Change isn’t always easy but usually brings out an outcome that is best for us in the end. Things that do not seem to make sense at the moment usually in time make perfect sense. Maybe God has changed your location, changed your circumstance, or changed you in a way you wouldn’t have particularly chosen for yourself. But begin to compromise by putting on your socks with jellies and eventually put on some real shoes and enjoy what God has intended for you. Walk into the change knowing that something good will come out of it because God is in control of every season. Once we understand that change can lead to God’s promises being fulfilled and His protection covering us, it makes it a whole lot easier to go forward with the season change and trust that in the end we’ll be glad we gave in.

As I write to you tonight, a bit of a sick feeling is engulfing me. Not a worried feeling but an “I can’t wait for what is about to happen and it can’t happen fast enough” feeling. Tomorrow is back to reality. It’s my second year of teaching in public school. I’m not nearly as nervous as I was this time last year, but the excitement still ensues. I wish I could explain to you this overwhelming sense of peace that I have. I know that sounds quite contrary to the above statement. But about a week ago, I asked God to give me direction and a newness of spirit about this upcoming school year. And He did! He’s refreshed my mind, purged my heart, and rejuvenated my spirit. I’ve never been more confident than I am at this moment that I am in the center of God’s will. Pray for me as I step back into those hallways tomorrow. Just because I have this newness of spirit doesn’t mean everyone else will too. Pray that I not take on their burdens and frustrations but my spirit would be contagious to them. Pray that this school year be one for the history books…not like Columbine…but like the biggest “rival,” if you will, that Berkeley has ever experienced.

The game of Chess is a newfound love of mine. My dad recently taught me how to play in which he won. I’m pretty sure he cheated because I only lose when people cheat. But I digress! This game is very fascinating to me in many ways. One way is that every move counts. If you make one stupid move, you could ruin the entire game. On the flipside, if you make one smart move, you could dominate the board instantly. Another interesting aspect to me is that every piece on the board has a certain role. For example, the Knight can only move two squares in a straight direction and then perpendicular to those squares. The move will form an “L” shape. Now I’ve probably turned you off from ever wanting to play this game because it sounds so complicated. But hang with me a little longer! The most valuable piece on the board is the King. If yours is captured by the opponent, you lose! The annoying thing about the King is that it can only be moved one square at a time. It can go forward, backward, or side to side but only one square at a time. I often want to move it like eight squares so that I can hurry up and win the game. But no can do…I must wait my turn and move one at a time. If another piece gets in the way in the mean time, then I must move the other pieces in place and wait. Then, when everything is aligned as it should be, I go in for the kill! However, the most frustrating part of this game is that when you are ready to step in for the kill of the opponent’s King, you must warn them and say “Checkmate!” How annoying? I have to warn my enemy so they can then try to triumph over me first? When the enemy has no moves left, then I capture the King and I win!

Life is just like a game of Chess. Come with me on this metaphorical path for just a few seconds. Picture this: God and Satan against each other. You are God’s King piece and the other pieces are people you encounter in your lifetime. Satan’s team is all of the people and demons that constantly try to keep us from winning the game of life. God’s main objective: to protect His King (you). All of the other pieces (every one you encounter) have a specific role that will lead you to victory. Some seem pointless but are completely intricate. One play at a time, God moves everything into place. He’s positioned the Pawns, set the Knights into place for attack, allowed the Bishop to remove obstacles, let the Rook swipe out an entire row because they were in the way, and put the Queen in position to protect the King while the others are moving things around. You see, every person we come in contact with and every obstacle that we face has a specific part of God’s plan for our lives. Even when moves don’t make sense, God is still in control of the game and knows He’s going to protect His King and win. And when the game is one move away from being won, God must call “Checkmate” and warn Satan he’s about to lose. At which point, Satan does everything he can to conquer and divide. But there are no moves left for him and he realizes the war is over. God’s King has been protected and has won. When God wins the Chess game, His perfect will for our lives has been achieved. And we can live in the gloriousness of victory knowing that we are God’s and He is ours. When certain moves don’t make sense, we must trust Him and know that He’s got us in the palm of His hand moving us where we need to go at exactly the right time.

Deuteronomy 31: 6-8 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the LORD swore to their forefathers to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance. The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

I don’t have children so I can’t fully comprehend the love a parent must have for their children. I’m currently reading The Shack, which begins with the protagonist losing his daughter to an abductor while on a family vacation. I can’t even fathom the agony that must entail. But I had an experience yesterday that made me feel as though I was a parent who couldn’t find her child. My mom, sister, and I went to Tanger Outlet for some much needed attire for the upcoming school year (I love that I STILL get to shop for clothes at the beginning of the school year, except my parents no longer pay for it!). As I approached the register to pay for some amazingly comfortable shoes, I realized my debit card was missing. This overwhelmingly sick feeling came over me as I went into a complete state of panic. I searched everywhere—even re-tracked my previous steps from the entire morning. But nothing! A million thoughts ran through my head as I thought about where my card could be and who could be using it on only God knows what. Someone was potentially taking advantage of something that I have worked so hard for. I wonder if that’s how God feels when we are lost from unity with Him. I wonder if He feels sickened because He worked so hard to be with us only for someone else to be taking advantage of us…whether He feels this way when we are wayward or even just focusing our thoughts on anything other than Him.

So I’m sure you’re wondering if I found my card. Yes, I did! I thought back to the last place I used it, which was a restaurant. I had left it in the bill folder where I paid for my dinner and had forgotten to take it out. When I had my card back in my hands, pure delight embraced me. I was so thankful and excited that tears of joy came pouring from my eyes. That’s exactly how God feels about you! God never leaves you like I left my card, but He did pay the bill and some of us leave Him right there. We recognize He paid the price, but we don’t enjoy the benefits or even commune with Him other than when we need to be forgiven once more. When you are away from His presence, His thoughts are consumed with bringing you back. He hates the things that take advantage of you and distract you from Him because He loves you and desires to be with you at all times.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is make coffee (unless of course my mom beats me to it). I am never fully awake until I have a few sips of the most glorious drink there is. There is just something about the warm robust flavor of a good cup of coffee to get me going. But I have to tell you, waiting for the coffee to brew is brutal! When the coffee first trickles into the bottom of the pot, the aroma in the air is sensational. But here is a very vital key to waiting on the coffee to brew that many do not know…never pour the first cup before the entire pot is ready. Many people will see the coffee make enough to fill their cup and they go for it. Stop doing that because it ruins the entire pot! Not only does it ruin the entire pot, but it makes the coffee unbearably strong for you and annoyingly weak for the rest of us. So wait for it to completely finish brewing, then pour a cup, and enjoy pure bliss! So why am I telling you all of this mess? Because as I was lying in bed waiting for my coffee to brew the other day, this thought came through my head: waiting for coffee is like waiting for God. If you hurry things along and pour before it is ready, then the whole thing is ruined and it is too strong to take in. This is why God makes us wait. If He told us everything, we wouldn’t be able to fathom it all. And diving in before the timing is right just messes up everything and all the goodness you could be enjoying. So He drips here and there until the pot is complete. The waiting usually seems as though it takes forever, but when we wait on God to complete it one drip at a time, we will experience pure bliss when it’s time just as I do every time I take my first sip of coffee.

Romans 8:25 says this: “But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently.”

Can men and women be “just friends”? According to When Harry Met Sally, they cannot! A friend of mine pointed this out to me a few days ago, and it has tortured my thoughts ever since. He simply said to me, “Guys and girls cannot be friends.” And I argued it at first but now I’m not so sure what I think. So let’s talk it out a little. The following is an excerpt dialogue from When Harry Met Sally that has got me thinking on this topic:

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I’m saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail ‘em too.
Sally: What if they don’t want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That’s too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.

Now I know this is not from a Christian perspective but part of me thinks that it applies to Christians too. Christians may know they cannot have sex but that sexual attraction is still there. When guys are attracted to girls, they tend to show it by flirting with them even if they don’t want to date them seriously. When guys do this, the girl is automatically thinking, “He wants me…forever!” The girl begins to show interest in the guy by flirting too. The guy will either date her for a little while then dump her or he will just completely reject her in fear that she will want to eventually take it to the next level. He doesn’t want to ever take it to the next level because he’s just interested in fulfilling some sexual void and ego boost that says, “She’s hot and I could have her if I wanted to. But I don’t want her because there might just be something better out there.” There’s no commitment involved on the guy’s part. But meanwhile, the girl thinks he’s completely interested in her and wants a future with her. Then when it doesn’t work out, she’s left wondering what she did wrong and what’s wrong with her to make him not be interested in her anymore. He’s thinking she’s cool with the whole thing and doesn’t understand why she would be confused. The two say, “We will still be friends,” but hardly ever speak because if they do, the endless cycle will occur once again because…men and women cannot be friends!!!

**Before any of you send me responses, please know that I understand not every relationship is like the above. But I do believe that any relationship that doesn’t lead to marriage is exactly like this for the most part. Also, I am not male-bashing. I am just saying both men and women have serious issues when it comes to dating. Girls are just as much to blame. Never mind—that was a lie! Girls are to blame also, but guys are usually the instigators of the whole chaotic mess.