The world is obsessed these days with the latest craze in weight loss. From Atkins to South Beach, from pills to liquid diets—millions of dollars are spent year in and out to cure the epidemic of obesity or weight gain. I have to admit it—I am just as bad as the world when it comes to this. I am always reading articles to see what I could do differently to improve my body. Today I found something interesting. I just knew it was going to be a blogging moment when I began to read the article called “11 Reasons Why You Are Not Losing Weight.” Let’s begin with the research and then we’ll move to the commentary:

 

11 Reasons Why You Are Not Losing Weight:

 

1. You buy your lunch with a credit card

 

2. You’re a meat-eater

 

3. You eat at church functions

 

4. You dine in a group

 

5. You drink diet soda

 

6. You’re married

 

7. You drive everywhere

 

8. You wear baggy clothing

 

9. You have heavy friends

 

10. You don’t drink alcohol

 

11. You rarely see the sun

 

Apparently, here’s the solution to weight gain:

Stay single for the rest of your life! Who needs a spouse anyway? The lonely nights will lead to depression which in return will cause lack of appetite; therefore, you will be skinny!

 

Ride your cow to the beach (refer to previous blog entry). Driving a car is a lazy man’s way of driving. Riding a cow would cause you to sweat more in this Charleston heat which will cause pound shedding. Remember: you can NEVER eat the cow…meat eaters are weight gainers!

 

Drink alcohol while laying out on the beach and wear an incredibly tight bathing suit. But it has to cover your entire body because it is no longer your goal to attract members of the opposite sex!

 

You must stop going to church. Let’s be honest—never eating with church people is impossible—it’s what they do best!

 

No friends allowed! Skinny ones nor overweight ones! The skinny ones will only make you annoyed and want to eat more while the overweight ones are enablers!

 

PS-Pay for the cow with cash; obviously, credit will only make you fat!

 

**For those of you who do not get or understand satire, this is it! So please don’t email me telling me not to drink alcohol, not to quit church, to strive to get married, and so on.**

 

Something that has been resonating in my spirit is this…God makes ALL things new! He can turn brokenness into restoration. Hurt into healing. Tears into laughter. Resentment into forgiveness. Yet we are the ones who hold Him back from changing our situations and making it into a new creation. As a child, I, like 95 % of Americans, had a blanket I took everywhere! After years of using this blanket, the inside cotton had bunched up—completely misshaping my blanket to the point I could no longer use it. When this occurred, my mom offered to replace the inside cotton and restore it to new. But I refused to let her do so! What if she cut it open and lost control of the sewing machine or scissors and the blanket was ruined forever? Being the stubborn child as usual, I decided to store the blanket away as it was—bunched up cotton and all—and never used it again! I found that blanket today and thought to myself, “I wonder what life would have been like if I would have allowed my mom to restore it? Maybe I could still be using it today. Maybe she could have restored it, and then I could have stored it so that my children could one day use it.” Instead, it is not usable at all and just collects dust in my closet. You see, we can choose to allow God to help us and restore us to new, or we can give up on the problem in fear that God may “ruin” us and stay the same for years to come—never being used. My challenge to you is this: when life hurts, allow Him to restore you to brand new so that He can use you for His Kingdom for many years to come!

 

Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, because the LORD has appointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the LORD’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory.

 

I had a bit of a reality check this weekend. On my way home from the beach Saturday, I noticed that I REALLY needed to put gas in my car. I tried running on empty as long as my car would endure but decided it was time to fill up when my car started burping to survive. As I finished pumping my gas, I looked at the total…$51.00 for my little bitty car! Seriously?!? For a moment I thought some gas station conspirator had switched the signs for regular and premium. But, nope—it really did cost over fifty dollars to fill up my car with regular. Then the second dose of reality hit me today at the grocery store. I had decided to make my infamous cheese and sausage dip for a get-together I was going to. The only ingredients I needed to purchase were the Velveeta cheese and the chips. “Surely,” I thought to myself, “this won’t cost that much!” Guess again. It cost me $12 for those two items. The cheese alone was $8!!! This has disturbed me beyond comprehension, so I have decided to do a little research and here’s what I’ve found: The reason why milk is so costly is due to the gas prices…go figure! The cost of feed for the cows has increased so much (because of the gas prices) that the farmers are now limiting how much the cows get fed; therefore, resulting in skinny cows with less milk produced. Thus the reasoning for the expensive cheese! So, here’s my solution: we all need to buy cows and ride them. It can be done (I researched that too)—they really do it in Vermont…I know, shocker! This way, we could have our own unlimited supply of milk (and cheese), no forking out $50 a week to fill the car up, and the price of feed would go down because the demand for gas would go down. Then once the price of gas goes down, I can finally afford the SUV I’ve always wanted and the gas to go in it. Problem solved…let’s get a cow!!!

I never know how to thank people when they do something generous or nice to me. So here’s my attempt…

 

-      James and Gloria: Thank you for cutting our grass! For obvious reasons, none of use   wanted to do it. You guys are an absolute God-send!

-      Gene and Cathy: The red rice, teriyaki chicken, green beans, macaroni and cheese, and salad were amazing. Oh yeah…the shrimp salad was my favorite—don’t tell my family—they didn’t stand a chance getting some of that!

-      Tom and Linda: The brownies were awesome!

-      Rob and Chris: I’ll never be able to go to Olive Garden and be content again. The chicken parmesan was incredible!

-      Vickie and Steve: The chicken pot pie was yummo!

-      Nancy and Bobby: Only Nancy could make brownies that taste better than the Hershey Brownies! Bobby did an excellent job adding the cheese to the potato pie too!

-      Rachel: We haven’t yet eaten your Italian dish because we are still eating Gene’s leftovers from several days ago! But I am sure it will be fantastic too!

-      April: Pound Cake! Need I say more???

-      Doug and Rosa: I didn’t get any of the cheesecake because dad finished it before I even knew about it. But I hear it was the best he’s ever had.

 

Also, to everyone who has come by to spend time with us, thank you so much! That means more to us all than you will ever know.

 

Most importantly, thank you to everyone who has been praying for us. God hears the cries of His people and will surely answer. I pray that God will bless each of you!

 

By the way, all of you who made food…you do realize my mom was not the one who cut her fingers off? Surely, none of you thought my dad was the one who cooked dinner for us all these years, right? However, it did give my mom a break and we are all grateful to everyone. Thanks so much!!!

I debated whether it was appropriate to share this story, but seeing as how the entire church knows and I have had to tell it at least 106 times anyway, I have decided to share the story…the REAL story! So here it is:

 

Friday, July 4 my dad decided to work on the lawn mower. He changed the blades, washed it down, and had it ready to go. However, because it was a holiday he decided not to cut the grass but simply do a test run to make sure all was well. He started cutting a strip of grass and noticed the deck of the lawn mower was off kilter. So he parked the lawn mower, DISENGAGED THE BLADES, and got off the mower to check it out. He then proceeded to kick the deck to get it back down—that didn’t work. Seeing as how the blades were disengaged, he assumed it was okay to get closer in order to figure out the problem. As his hand and fingers moved closer, the blades (which malfunctioned and did not disengage) sliced through three of his fingers leaving two fingers hanging slightly by a piece of skin and the third incredibly hacked up. He looked down with disbelief at his mangled fingers. As he made his way back to the house, he grabbed a shirt and wrapped it. Meanwhile, my little sister had witnessed the entire incident. Not knowing how severe the problem was, she called out, “Dad, do you need a band-aid?” He calmly responded, “No, I am going to need a lot more than a band-aid! Call your mother and tell her to hurry home.” My mom rushed him to the hospital only to wait patiently for 7 hours until he went into surgery—according to hearsay, the best hand surgeon at MUSC was his doctor. They pinned, stitched, sewed, and repaired his fingers the best they could. Now, we will wait with anticipation for the next step.

 

God is all over this situation and here is my assurance:

Friday night, I couldn’t sleep a wink. Remember, I was 300 miles away from my family and wasn’t notified in enough time to come home that night, so I was forced to wait until the morning to return. I haven’t had a sleepless night like that in possibly my entire life. Tears drenched my pillow. Prayer filled my head. It was time God and I wrestled it out. So I began to pray, pray, and pray some more. God kept speaking the word “BIG” into my mind. My spirit was stirring like crazy! And I asked God, “What does BIG mean?” As clear as day, he responded, “Something BIG is going to happen in your dad’s life, and the only way it could happen is for him to lose those three specific fingers.” That may sound weird to some of you, but you may have forgotten…my dad is a police officer…a right handed police officer. So why would God allow his trigger finger to be mangled? Well, the why is not important. The important question is this: How is God going to use this situation to glorify Himself? I’ll keep you posted. For now, all I know is that it is going to be BIG!!!

 

 Psalm 40: 1-5

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.

Do you ever wish you could go back to your childhood if just for a minute? Me too! Last night I was able to experience a glimpse of the carefree, relaxing, and fun childhood I once had. As I lay in front of the television along with the rest of my family, my dad flipping through numerous channels stopping on every single SWAT, police chase, or war show he could find, I begged and pleaded for him to turn it to something I would enjoy. Then, I saw it…ALF! I used to watch Alf all of the time when I was knee-high to a duck (so my dad says). As a family, we watched Alf for 30 minutes of good, clean funniness. Oh how I wish they still made shows like that! So, what’s a TV show that takes you back?

 

Who do you call when life hurts? Who do you call when you are stuck in a hurtful situation that has you lost for words and all you need is someone to say “I love you and I am here for you.” I have always said that you know when a person is important to you when…something traumatic or extravagant happens to you and they are the first person you call. This past weekend, I realized who that person, or I should say people, is to me. This weekend has been filled with pain, confusion, fear, worry, and much more. The first people I called were the Olivers. Besides my immediate family, this family is the closest group of people I have in my life. I don’t have any outside family here in Charleston or any family members that I am really close to other than my immediate family. But that is where the Olivers come in. They have been more like family to me than those who are blood related. They are the kind of people that no matter what time of day or night I needed them, they would be there for me—no questions asked! They are the most selfless, giving, and caring people I know. I feel as though nothing I could do or give them could ever show them how much I appreciate who they are, what they have done, and how much they mean to me. But here’s the amazing thing with them…they aren’t expecting anything in return! They give because that’s what they (what we) are called to do. My only hope is that I can be an “Oliver” to someone else the way they have been to me.

Wow! I am so excited! Today I will be heading off to Bryson City, North Carolina with my best friend Hope for an adventure in camping…well, kind of. We will be staying in a house with several other people. However, the house does not have air conditioner—one step closer to true camping! I have never actually been true camping—many of you will find that hard to believe while those who know me best won’t be surprised at all. But I would like to do it one day just to try something new and different. I am not exactly sure why my family never went camping when I was growing up, but my assumption is this: sleeping on a hard ground outside with the potential of a bear/snake/raccoon/fox attack probably didn’t sound like an appealing vacation to my family. But I digress! So for the next few days, I will be away from the blogosphere. For those of you who like to know what’s going on in Keeley Land, here’s my itinerary:

 

Tuesday: a 6 hour drive with someone who gets bored very easily

Wednesday: not exactly sure yet—maybe going down to a river for a little adventure

Thursday: horseback riding

Friday: white water rafting and apparently the coolest firework show around

Saturday: tubing down the river and then homebound

 

Stay tuned for pictures and funny stories…

Some of the youth leaders and I went to Myrtle Beach for the day on Tuesday—all for the love of youth of course—no selfish intentions whatsoever! It was a great day. We scoped out the facilities where we will be holding Breakaway this summer. We went down to the beach because you absolutely cannot go all the way to Myrtle Beach and not at least put your feet in the water. Then we headed off to The Original Benjamin’s (the largest Calabash seafood restaurant in the world!), which was supposedly only 8 miles away, but Sean and Rob lied all for the sake of crab legs. I guess it was worth it. We get to this restaurant that consisted of approximately 20 lines of all you can eat seafood. If you know me well enough, you know that was a dream come true for me! However, all the craze was the crab legs (of which I have never had before). I have to tell you…they were fabulous! But, I could only bring myself to eating one for the simply reason that coconut shrimp covered my plate. But now, after this experience I am left with a slight dilemma: I am never going to want regular shrimp again after eating coconut battered shrimp. Once you go coconut, you don’t go back!

Yesterday I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine. We began to share times in our lives when God was asking us to have faith in Him. When God calls us to do something out of the ordinary, it can be quite nerve-racking. Our puny minds try to figure it all out—beginning to end—when oftentimes we have no idea how it could possibly turn out. One thing that I have learned in my lifetime is this: God’s ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We are not supposed to be able to figure it all out. If we knew exactly what was going to happen, it wouldn’t exactly be walking by faith. Matthew 14 tells us of when Peter was called to walk by faith and not by sight. The disciples had gone out on the lake while Jesus had wandered away for a time of solitude and prayer. When finished, Jesus decided to join them but had no way of getting on the boat—so it seemed anyway! Jesus began to walk upon the water toward the disciples’ boat. Peter (one of the disciples) saw Him and said, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” After Jesus responded “Come,” Peter vacated the boat and began to walk on water. BUT when he looked at the surrounding water and wind—trying to make sense of it all—he began to sink. Jesus had to save him in his moment of utter panic. Then Jesus responded (here’s where I imagine Jesus laughing a bit) saying, “You of little faith. Why did you doubt?” You see it was when Peter began to try figuring it all out that he began to sink. God called him to walk by faith, and though he was doing well for awhile, he began to think about the possible horrendous outcomes. When God calls us to do things that may seem crazy to other people (maybe even crazy to ourselves), it’s in that place where we must trust Him and walk by faith knowing that from beginning to end is in His hands. Though it may be scary at times, after we have chosen to walk by faith, we will be so glad that we did. God NEVER disappoints us!

In my previous blog, I received the following response. This response touched me in such a way that I want to make sure that everyone who reads my blog reads it. Susan, my prayer is that you would hear my heart and true sincerity in my response to your question.

 

Susan said:

My life is going really well…I have a great job, just got married, but I still feel this emptiness within me. I’m not a religious person, but I feel like there’s gotta be a way to connect to something deeper. Any ideas?

 

My Response:

Jesus is the ONLY way. He’s the only one who can fulfill you. You say you are not a religious person—neither am I. I am a relational person. My relationship with Jesus is the only thing that sustains me through the good and bad times. For years, I thought the only thing that would one day fulfill me would be marriage. But then I came to the realization that it would be unfair to expect something so great from a mere human. I am single but have never been more fulfilled than I am right now. True fulfillment comes from the One who created us. He knows how we operate! He knows what makes us tick. Not only can he fill the void, but he also desires to do so. My idea/suggestion would be for you to seek God with your entire heart. I guarantee you that 1) He will reveal Himself to you, 2) You will not be disappointed, and 3) That desire for something deeper will be fulfilled. Please know this: God loves you and He has a plan for your life! Here are two scriptures that declare these promises to you. I truly hope this helps you in some way. I will be in prayer for you that God would show Himself to you and fulfill your emptiness!

 

 

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

 

Jeremiah 29:11-13

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

 

WARNING: The following blog entry may induce extreme jealousy and complete disappointment that you are not my father’s daughter.

 

Have you ever seen those cheesy shirts that say “World’s Greatest Dad”? They make my stomach churn a bit! My thought on memorabilia of such is this: if you have to convince everyone by wearing it on a shirt, it must not be true! There is no need for my dad to wear such non-sense because he demonstrates what the “World’s Greatest Dad” should be with every action he makes. On the exterior many assume that my dad is crass, intimidating, and straight-laced. But I know the REAL man inside. A few of the characteristics that depict who he really is include sensitive, dependable, honest, sincere, dedicated, determined, caring, and so much more. Here is a list of things he does that reveal these adjectives…

 

-          He has pumped my gas for me since I was 15 years old.

-          He cleans my car out after every trip I make to the beach.

-          He will defend me until the end of time.

-          He tells me how proud of me he is on a daily basis.

-          He prays for me and over me constantly.

-          He encourages and believes in me.

-          He works tirelessly to support my family.

-          He has endured physical pain that no one could fathom, but he never weakened.

-          He gives me hugs when he sees that I am struggling to survive another day in this evil world.

-          He will bring physical harm upon any man that hurts me (Well, maybe not—but let’s be honest…if looks could kill, he definitely could do it!)

-          In the past ten years, not a day has gone by where my dad hasn’t spent time with God.

-          He gives me spiritual guidance.

-          He tells me when I am out of line or being too dramatic.

-          He sees in me what I can’t see myself.

-          He has changed multiple flat tires for me.

-          He never lets me leave the driveway without knowing that my car is intact.

-          He encourages me to keep going when I am ready to quit.

 

This list doesn’t even come close to capturing the REAL man that my dad is. I have never once thought “Oh, I wish I had someone else for a dad.” Why would I? God gave me the closest man to Himself. What a gift! How could I ever ask for more?

 

As a child and even sometimes to this day, people make comments about how much I look and act like my dad. I hated that when I was a little girl because I thought it meant that I looked like a boy. But now, one of the greatest comments I could ever receive would be for someone to tell me that I “look” like my dad—not necessarily in appearance (though I truly do when I don’t have on make-up) but in action!

Does God ever awaken you in the middle of the night to pray? For some reason he wakes me up all of the time. Maybe it’s because at the point of a hankering desire to sleep, I will do ANYTHING to get back to my favorite time of day! Last night was one of these nights. At 3:00am, I awakened from a deep sleep with sweat consuming my body which is odd seeing as how the temperature in my room was approximately 68 degrees! It was a weird experience that is hard to put into words. As I was waking up, it was as though someone was forcing me to wake up even though no one was in the room—that I could see anyway! God just kept speaking into my spirit “Pray for the youth. Pray for your friend.” I didn’t know exactly what I was supposed to pray for, but I began—because remember, I’ll do ANYTHING to go back to sleep! I prayed and prayed and prayed until God gave me a peace to return to Dream Land. Today as I was thinking about that prayer time, God reminded me of a verse that He gave me yesterday…
II Corinthians 4:7-10
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”
It made complete sense why he would give me this verse the day before. The things I prayed for reflected this verse. I prayed for my friend who is going through hard times. I prayed for the youth that face persecution consistently. But here’s mostly what I gained from these verses…
1) God is ALL-powerful.
2) We may be confused about the present, but God WILL NOT let us live in despair (misery).
3) We may be wronged by people, but God NEVER abandons us.
4) Remember the death of Jesus—His sacrifice—ALWAYS!

Have you ever had someone in your life that does so much for you that you have no idea how to ever repay them? Well, I have two—my mom and my dad. But Father’s Day isn’t until next week, so it’s time I brag on my mom for a bit. A few years ago, there was this craze over “Proverbs 31.” It was on every coffee cup, frame, and journal in the Christian Book store. In case you are unfamiliar with this chapter, let me recap for you. It’s all about an incredible Godly wife and mother. I remember thinking during this craze that some people are lying to their mothers when they buy this memorabilia. But not me! My mother truly fits every characteristic of this amazing woman.

1) Proverbs 31:15 “She gets up while it is still dark.”
My mom awakens every morning at 4:30am. She makes sure everyone is ready for the upcoming day.
2) Proverbs 31:15b “She provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”
My mom is the greatest cook EVER! She doesn’t just make sure my family has dinner every night, but she also makes sure we are well fed for every other meal. There are times when she just feels like surprising us with breakfast when we have an important day ahead. Every time I had a big test in high school or college, she would make sure I had a remarkable breakfast awaiting me because otherwise I wouldn’t bother.
3) Proverbs 31:16 “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.”
My mom is the most financial sound person I have ever met. She knows how and when to spend money that will best benefit the entire family.
4) Proverbs 31:17 “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.”
My mom has had the same job for over 20 years. She drives an hour and a half (one way) to work everyday to earn a paycheck to support us.
5) Proverbs 31:20 “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”
My mom has a heart of gold. She serves on the hospitality team at church. Some of you may not know this, but when it is her week to feed the volunteers, she goes all out! It starts that Friday before. She spends hours planning what she needs to cook for the volunteers—thinking about what would please them the most. Then Saturday, she spends all day buying the groceries and setting up at the church. Sunday mornings are the craziest. She awakens at 4:30am and doesn’t stop. She spends hours preparing the most delicious food for people she hardly knows.
6) Proverbs 31:23 “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.”
See…this chapter really is all about her. My dad is an elder too! My mom has and will defend, support, and take care of my dad until the end.

I could continue to go on through every verse of this chapter and explain how my mother is just the same as this Godly woman. My hope is that I will one day be the same extraordinary mother, wife, daughter, sister, employee, and friend that my mother is.

Last night at youth group, I was forced into putting pickle juice and vitamin water in mouth…at the same time! If you didn’t go, you missed an amazing night by the way. But I digress. After the service, Michele was telling me how she loves pickle juice. I thought that was a random thing to like, but then I began to think about all of my weird cravings. One that gets people talking is my obsession with pickles. No, I am not pregnant—trust me, that’s nowhere near possible. Every time I go to Applebee’s, I get someone else (because doing it myself is too embarrassing) to order me a side of pickles. Those are my absolute favorite! I also love banana peppers. I will eat them out of the jar until a hole has been burned into my stomach! Another weird craving is cottage cheese. I could eat cottage cheese mixed with red grapes for breakfast everyday. So, what is a weird craving that you get?